Many people come to me in despair after they realize that they are in the pits of hell in their relationship with a narcissist. They have been lied to, cheated on, manipulated, and gas-lighted. Their partner isolates them, puts them down, denies them their basic human needs, and abuses them emotionally. Some narcissists even resort to severe physical violence, up to and including murder.
It is no doubt that you are afraid on some level in your relationship with a narcissist. You feel anxious because you were never given the coping mechanisms to deal with the situation that you have been thrust into. You feel confused, consumed, and disoriented. Some people who have been in a relationship with a narcissist long enough have lost their ability to analyze, reason, and make any sort of decisions. They are in survival mode due to the trauma bonding that occurs when a person is in a relationship with someone who causes cognitive dissonance in their brain.
A narcissist’s partner is almost always in a state of disorientation by the narcissist’s behavior. It is easy to think that the narcissist has multiple personalities (Jekyll and Hyde) or that they have the symptoms of bipolar disorder. The person has such a labile emotional state and inconsistent behavior, so it is easy to see how narcissists can be considered psychotic or delusional at times.
The narcissist’s moral state is very flexible. He justifies bad behavior any time he feels that it’s required to control the world around him. He resorts to lying and justification any time it suits him. He jumps to conclusions far too quickly, shows a lack of social skills and emotional maturity, and lacks regard for other people’s needs or wants. It is no surprise that a relationship with a narcissist will elicit very strong feelings by any normal person.
This book will help uncover the different emotions that are experienced in a relationship with a purpose.